September 15, 2009
Columbus Grove man was promptly taught the definition of the word “minor.”
Punctuation still at large

Columbus Grove man was promptly taught the definition of the word “minor.”

Punctuation still at large

September 14, 2009
Backups are necessary whenever a dispute escalates beyond “passive” status.

Backups are necessary whenever a dispute escalates beyond “passive” status.

September 13, 2009
Note to readers: “password” is a lazy, lazy password.

Note to readers: “password” is a lazy, lazy password.

September 12, 2009
Loose in the stones + dumped on it’s side = not a poop joke? Bullshit.

Loose in the stones + dumped on it’s side = not a poop joke? Bullshit.

September 11, 2009
Suspects are being questioned in regard to the accidentally left-open fence.

Suspects are being questioned in regard to the accidentally left-open fence.

September 10, 2009
Request was not filled due to redundant crime scene description.

Request was not filled due to redundant crime scene description.

September 8, 2009
Police officers hope to recover the prescription sun glasses (sic). Little hope is held for the loose change, and the lottery tickets.

Police officers hope to recover the prescription sun glasses (sic). Little hope is held for the loose change, and the lottery tickets.

August 26, 2009
Juveniles these days complain too much.

Juveniles these days complain too much.

August 25, 2009
Is it illegal for one to shoot a BB gun within village limits? Is it breaking the law to simply cross the village line with one? Is this a crime because the gun-shooter/toter is not old enough to vote?
Or is this news item just another kids-with-guns horror story by that fearmongering, gun-hating media?
You be the judge, dear reader.
You be the judge.

Is it illegal for one to shoot a BB gun within village limits? Is it breaking the law to simply cross the village line with one? Is this a crime because the gun-shooter/toter is not old enough to vote?

Or is this news item just another kids-with-guns horror story by that fearmongering, gun-hating media?

You be the judge, dear reader.

You be the judge.

August 21, 2009
The police like to keep a close eye on anything loose ‘round these parts. That includes women, change, screws, and dogs.
Sidenote: Why didn’t anyone read the tags on the damn collar?

The police like to keep a close eye on anything loose ‘round these parts. That includes women, change, screws, and dogs.

Sidenote: Why didn’t anyone read the tags on the damn collar?

August 20, 2009
Awwwwww-kwarrrrrrrrrrd.

Awwwwww-kwarrrrrrrrrrd.

August 19, 2009
The police department and EMS celebrated their partnership with ice cream and high fives.
It was a big day.

The police department and EMS celebrated their partnership with ice cream and high fives.

It was a big day.

10:00am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZwEaWy9uFUh
Filed under: EMS Run palsies 
August 18, 2009
Not Three Youth, Columbus Grove’s most dangerous of trespassers!

Not Three Youth, Columbus Grove’s most dangerous of trespassers!

11:17am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZwEaWy9uEt5
Filed under: Trespass damn youth 
August 16, 2009
Let’s not even address the proper use of the word “broke.”
Let’s skip over the unfortunate appearance of an “h” in the second mention of the word “tree.”
Let’s just just straight to the heart of the matter, which is a very serious matter indeed: Tree Vandalism. It’s no joke, people. Tree Vandalism is a dangerous phenomenon—some would even call it a hate crime against Mother Earth herself. Unless, of course, said vandalism was caused by an act of Mother Earth, such as, say, a storm or tornado. In that case, nevermind.

Let’s not even address the proper use of the word “broke.”

Let’s skip over the unfortunate appearance of an “h” in the second mention of the word “tree.”

Let’s just just straight to the heart of the matter, which is a very serious matter indeed: Tree Vandalism. It’s no joke, people. Tree Vandalism is a dangerous phenomenon—some would even call it a hate crime against Mother Earth herself. Unless, of course, said vandalism was caused by an act of Mother Earth, such as, say, a storm or tornado. In that case, nevermind.

August 15, 2009
Unsurprisingly, the police department had no freaking clue what to do with this information.

Unsurprisingly, the police department had no freaking clue what to do with this information.